THIS doesn't sound like fun

Warning:  If you get grossed out by knowing how the sausage is made, you may want to skip a portion of this blog.  I'll alert you when you can exercise your skip-ahead option.

I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Chatson today to discuss the details of my two-part reconstruction surgery.  I was the first patient of the day so there was no wait.  The medical professional (Physician's Assistant), took my vitals and began providing a reader's digest version of what to expect for the first surgery.  As the words I heard became mental images, I'm sure some of what I was hearing caused my blood pressure reading to be higher than normal.

[I'm also pretty sure that the 45 minutes it took to drive 10 miles - commute was also a factor.  I'm out of practice for driving during the morning 'rush' albeit, local.]

Confessing that she should have refrained from the preview of coming attractions until the doctor arrived (or at least until she finished her readings), I was told that Dr. Chatson would be right in.

As promised, Dr. Chatson was right in.  [Almost as if he had been waiting for his cue.] He told me that the insurance company confirmed that this procedure was covered.  He showed me that special 'pass go' authorization number that's treated like gold.  So I was told, in a month's time, I'm expected to arrive at Holy Family, at the crack of dawn mind you, for my day-surgery.  I will need to have fasted from the previous night and I am not allowed to drive myself home.  I've secured my ride to, and from for that day.

[Skip-ahead option here if you are squeamish] 

The first surgery will consist of many moving parts:

- Reduction of my (healthy) right breast. This entails removal of some skin around the aureole and  liposuction of 'fatty' areas extending toward the arm pit. Depending on the end result (concavity), a fat graft will be performed to create a 'standard-looking' male breast.
- Re-opening the surgical area of my mastectomy to remove scarring tissue and prepare for 'doctor-created' faux nipple. The actual setting of the nipple will be performed during the second surgery after the healing period of about 3-4 weeks.  Depending...
- Liposuction of the 'fatty' areas around the mastectomy area extending toward the armpit (to create symmetry).
- Incision of my tummy area (similar to a tummy tuck) for the harvesting of fat for the graft and skin for the new aureole and nipple. [Not certain if this is just to identify the area for harvesting of if the skin is removed at this time. While explaining this, the doctor said that 'the course of things sometimes change once we get in there.']

[Resume reading here]

After the conclusion of my first surgery, I was informed that I will most likely have a drain. [GRRRR].  I'll also have to wear a compression vest.  From the description, this zippered device is worn (for some time) to assist with the healing.  

[I had visions of tin foil holding together a burrito to make it rounded and easier to consume.]  

I'm not allowed to bathe until the drain is removed. [Been there. Done that. Not a fan.] I will have a few follow-ups (a week apart).  I was concerned with Thanksgiving.  He said that he was seeing patients the day before, in the morning.

Although all the above is necessary,  I'm certainly not looking forward to it.  I was given a script for pain meds (which I hate and hope I can do without). However, unlike my mastectomy (and subsequent surgery), this procedure will affect more geography on my body. Especially areas that 'move' (like the waist).  Ya, this ain't gonna be fun.

Until the time comes, I'm enjoying having better days health-wise and getting back to generally feeling good.   I truly hope that Mother Nature cooperates and holds off on the white stuff until much later in the season (but nothing like last year - please).

Thanks for reading and of course, your support!

 

Progress Report

I'm very pleased, although I know there is more to come, but I've actually felt 'good' for an extended period of time (days).  I've continued my walks with much less recovery time needed after completing my 3 - 6 mile jaunts.  It's been nice to see the season morph before my eyes (albeit slowly). The foliage is beginning to change, but as predicted, the vibrancy just isn't there ... yet.

I've taken on some of my procrastinations:

• I finally went to BJ's to get my eye glass prescription filled.  I guess that waiting did have its advantages since a 60% sale was taking place.  I saved a bundle and it wasn't with Progressive or Geico. [Bad pun]  
• It was also time for my 10 K check up for the car and it was nice to be able to do it during the week versus a Saturday morning.  Although I did spend almost two hours at the dealership watching Annie (the movie). I munched on butter cookies and had lots of free coffee. 
• The torrential rains of last week turned the lawn green again, so I mowed it. No problems with energy or stamina this time.  [Yay!]
• I finally decided to have work performed on one of my guitars.  It needs two new potentiometers, switch, nut, bridge and saddle.  The neck is out of alignment also.  It's time.

I've continued my regimen of musical and vocal practice and have been fruitful in writing a few tunes.  Unfortunately, some batteries I left in my digital recorder decided to leak so badly that they won't come out of the compartment. I ordered a replacement online and when it arrives I hope to be able capture some of this lightening in a bottle so I can refine my ideas into finished product.  In the interim, I'm creating musical charts so I can begin to work on melody and lyrics.

Speaking of leaking batteries, my digital camera fell to the same fate.  During the lunar eclipse I thought that the camera would do a better job than my phone at capturing this historic event. Upon my attempt to power it up, it was dead. Checking the batteries I was greeted with corrosion.  They say things come in threes.  I can't wait to see what else is ruined. [NOT]

I'm behind on my Halloween acquisitions. Generally it's a constant 'keep an eye out' ordeal (no pun intended).  But my focus on health issues has moved that to the back seat.  It's not like I don't have enough already.  But, it's so hard to wear last year's stuff again.  I did pick up a few things, so maybe I'll need to get creative.  After all, I still have (basically) no hair.  So I could work a bald head into something.  We'll see.  Nosferatu perhaps?

Last weekend I was able to catch the Fitch's Brew band in Lowell.  It was nice to see so many familiar faces (friends and musicians).  It was a little weird for me at times though, because I knew the songs and arrangements. This is the band I left in February when I found out about my cancer.  I had a great time.  They sounded awesome.

Miscellaneous stuff
My hair is beginning to come back. I decided to grow some facial hair (Van Dyke).  It's coming in much faster than the hair on my head.  So I'm going for it.

I received a call the other evening (close to 9) from Dr. Mehta.  He was calling to check in on me and my vision issues. If you recall, almost two months ago I left a message with his office to report that I was having changes in my vision.  I never heard back.  But, I had scheduled an appointment with the eye doctor which subsequently revealed my having cataracts.

Dr. Mehta said that he would be surprised to have this side effect from Tamoxifen so soon, but he was concerned and asked that I monitor this.  I told him that I was in agreement with him.  I added that the eye doctor said that I probably had (the beginnings) for close to a year.  This is well before my dealings with cancer or my taking Tamoxifen.  Probably my super-sensitivity to my body could have drawn attention to this existing condition.

I have my pre-op for reconstruction scheduled for next week.  I'm certain that appointment will prompt a blog update. Until then, have a pleasant Columbus Day weekend and thanks for reading.

A new month - more work to do and new challenges ahead

Last week there was virtually no foliage color. Any color that manifested was basically muted and lacked the vibrancy of previous Fall displays.  It was said that drought conditions and extended occurrences of 'warmer than average' temperatures would render this year's offering as less than spectacular. 

What happened?  We had a lunar eclipse - a blood super moon nonetheless.  Not sure if Facebook status updates or moon shots brought down FB the day following, but things were changing.  Almost over night color emerged.  Technically late, but there have been some pockets of vibrancy.  We also had a real drenching (3 inches of rain in my part of the world).  Those that had to drive in it had their own challenges.  [Not missing the commute.] But this too may just be a harbinger of even more rain.  Depending on who you watch (or hear), Joaquin could wreak much havoc. [Let's hope it blows out to sea.]  We'll just have to wait and see - but be prepared.

Taking advantage of seasonal weather, I've been walking (still).  The lower 'GI' thing I was experiencing seemed to have corrected itself, but the pains in my back (flank) have persisted.  It doesn't seem to bother me while doing exercises, or while walking, but certain movements will bring a stabbing pain.  I can't seem to locate or pinpoint where it is coming from, but it does happen when I decide to 'bust a move' when a good beat is played on the radio.  Maybe I need to dance more.

My hair is growing back and my head looks fuzzy - but white still.  The beard needs daily care - again,  although I'm thinking of growing something.  [This may change as I look scruffier.]  I'm still experiencing some sloughing in my mouth and my lips feel weird.  Not chapped, but feel like they are beginning to be, so I've been using lip balm.  I've re-read the side effects of Tamoxifen again and this is not noted, so I attribute this as my body's way of recuperating.  I'll monitor and report to my doctor if needed.  But once again, my heightened sense of body awareness borders on hypochondria at times.

Musically I've been playing guitar and keyboards daily (for longer periods of time).  I tried singing full voice the other day and became hoarse.  Too much too soon.  After a rest, I'll need to return to vocal exercises before trying to go full force.

I have a pre-op appointment scheduled for mid month for my reconstructive surgery.  If all goes according to plans, I'll be having my first surgery mid November.  I'm hopeful that it will not interfere with Thanksgiving festivities, but it is what it is. In the interim I'll be enjoying my second favorite season (Spring is first) and looking for all things Halloween - my favorite holiday.  I will need to reign in my ramp-up to the holiday so I can focus on long-term activities related to health.

Happy October!

Feeling stronger everyday

Since my last post, I've been trying to reinstate my daily regimen of exercise and walking to increase my energy level and stamina.  Initially this renewed effort caused me to have 'bad days' as my body tried to recuperate.  However, those 'bad days' seem to be few and far between.

The change in the weather has been conducive to my walking.  Some days I walk about six miles, but overall I average about 3-4 miles a day.  I make sure my route is varied and contains a good amount of 'up-hill' walking.  I did venture to walk around Round Pond (a local name - but the official name is Pentucket Lake).  After making it half-way across, I took a breather and sat on a park bench.  Maybe a bad idea (or at least a lesson learned), but I didn't know if I had the energy to continue and head home.  Luckily, I was able to 'walk through it'.  This tells me that I still have a way to go.

I've been playing the guitar daily (a few hours here and there), but I still get tired of standing after about a half hour.  I do sit and continue playing though.  I'm very pleased with my progress of getting my chops back and am thrilled that the neuropathy in my thumb and forefinger has nearly dissipated.  [Just one lingering spot on my finger, but the more I play, the better it gets.] Unfortunately, I haven't been concentrating on vocal exercises.  However, I plan to work that into my daily routine.

I still have some food aversions.  My diet has changed from before the start of this ordeal.  But I was encouraged the other day when I had a huge craving for freshly cut peppers, broccoli and tomatoes with vegetable dip.  So good.  Hopefully I can work my way back to my daily salad.  I still can't even stomach the thought of oranges.  And those that know me are aware of my propensity to always have these vitamin C orbs as an ever-available staple.  Maybe soon.  I'd rather have liquid vitamin C versus the tablet.

For every action there is a consequence.  I'm hoping that my increase in exercise is the cause of some new aches and pains in my back and flanks.  Also, my shift in diet (again) may be causing some lower GI 'disturbances'.  I truly hope that neither are related.  It's tough having to be super-sensative to your body and have these 'things' crop up.  Until then I'll need to follow the rule of thumb and hope it goes away in a week (or two) before bringing it to the attention of my physician(s).

My hair has begun to grow.  I can feel a serious 5 o'clock shadow on my head, but it's still white so it's had to see - so I'm still looking like Kojak.  I'm noticing that my beard needs shaving more often (more than every 3-4 days).

So I am doing better and I'll continue to push myself.

Thanks to all for your support and readership.  More to come.

Sore, but getting there

I've been working on raising my energy level and increasing my stamina to where I feel I can accomplish a physical task without having to have to sit and catch up.  I've begun doing my daily exercises and am working toward my being able to take long walks.

To prepare, I've been walking up and down the cellar stairs for 10 sets a day.  The daily routine I had for morning exercises, at first made me very sore.  I'm so tight.  A routine previously flown through before going to work seems to take longer than I anticipated.  But I' m getting through it. Initially I thought that the tamoxifen was causing blood clots because I was having pains in my calves.  But further research on clots and DVT (deep vein thrombosis) ruled that out. I'm just sore.

Today I ventured out on a small hike to the mailbox and ended up walking about a mile.  That last stretch was bit taxing, but the weather was conducive to walking so I soldiered on. I'll see what muscles scream tomorrow.

I've also been playing the guitar more and for longer periods, but my back is still getting tired. I'm hoping that more walking will help that set of muscles. My calluses are getting back into shape and the numbness in my thumb and forefinger (although still present), seems to be getting 'better'.  From time to time I get pains in areas previously numb (surgical area too) but I think the nerves are growing back.  I'm getting more sensation.

I'm still a cue ball and still only shave every few days, but I am beginning to get stubble on my head.  I don't see any color other than white.  But it's still early.

More steps forward and fewer steps backwards for a change.

Thanks for reading.  More to come.

New dance - two steps forward and one step back

I trust everyone had a safe and restful Labor Day.

I find it hard to fathom that the summer is (technically) over.  With focus on my health challenges since the end of April, one half of the year has slipped by.  These months of coping and recovering have certainly broken my regular cycle of doing things. Previously, I had my daily and weekend routine down pat.  I'd get up for work, have coffee, do my exercises, iron, shave and shower and head to the highway. Now my being retired, I have yet to establish a new routine - although I've been trying.

Now that the chemo is (thankfully) done, I've been trying to get back into the swing of things.  The most difficult part has been regaining energy and maintaining my stamina.  Although the spirit is more than willing the flesh is still weak.  Some of the simplest tasks like doing laundry, grocery shopping and the mundane (but necessary) household chores (can) wipe me out. When I have a 'good day', I earnestly try to re-start my life.  I've had some productive exercise sessions, but the ensuing dizziness and overall weakness is frustrating.  My biggest scare happened last week when I was rearranging some furniture on  my three season porch to ready it for my least favorite season.  I was taking my time, but at one point (after standing up quickly), I almost passed out.  Not wanting to fall, I gracefully sat on the floor and eventually lay flat while it 'passed'.  After what seemed like too long, I was able to slowly get up and sit.  I sat for nearly an hour until my breathing settled. Clearly I did (and tried to do) too much.  That episode wiped me out for a day.  Very frustrating.

I'm aware that I haven't 'exerted' myself physically for nearly six months so it will take time to get back.  But what I haven't anticipated was my having to take things even slower. Whatever I decide to accomplish, I need to build in extra time and ensure that the task is 'manageable'.  It's disconcerting to 'want to' do something (taking steps forward), but having to retreat by taking a step back to recover.  In addition, I'm cognizant that my body has been through hell and it needs time to get back on track, but only having energy to play the guitar (standing) for a half hour, or trying to vocalize for just fifteen minutes is disheartening.  I do have to remind myself that it's only been a week from a theoretical chemo treatment and things take time.  But, I'm so far from being able to load my gear into the car and set up for a gig and put in six to eight hours.  This scares me.  Especially after having that episode on my sun porch.  I hate to entertain the thought that I may not be at that point to handle that for another year.

So the lesson learned is - you can push yourself but be prepared for push back.  I'm still learning my limits and try to push on those when I can.  When 'inside' you fell you can do what you used to, I'm rudely reminded that I'm not ready yet. Frustrating yes.  But this is the new reality.

Thanks for reading.  More to come.

If it isn't one thing, it's three

I had my eye doctor appointment today.  After getting away without glasses for 62 years, I'm now strongly encouraged to join the corrective lenses club.  Yup - glasses.

The good news is I don't have glaucoma, my 'eye structures' are healthy and I don't have macular degeneration.  Although, being an older light skinned male, I'm susceptible to it.

Age-related macular degeneration, often called AMD or ARMD, is the leading cause of vision loss and blindness among Americans who are age 65 and older. Because people in this group are an increasingly larger percentage of the general population, vision loss from macular degeneration is a growing problem.

The eye doctor said tht this is something that is monitored and prevention is eating leafy green vegetables (like spinach - which I love).

Now the bad news.  I have cataracts.

A cataract is a clouding of the lens in the eye that affects vision. Most cataracts are related to aging. Cataracts are very common in older people. By age 80, more than half of all Americans either have a cataract or have had cataract surgery.

A cataract can occur in either or both eyes. It cannot spread from one eye to the other.

I have cataracts in both eyes, but my right eye has the clouding in my line of vision.  The symptoms of early cataract may be improved with new eyeglasses, brighter lighting, anti-glare sunglasses, or magnifying lenses. If these measures do not help, surgery is the only effective treatment. Surgery involves removing the cloudy lens and replacing it with an artificial lens.

A cataract needs to be removed only when vision loss interferes with everyday activities, such as driving, reading, or watching TV. In most cases, delaying cataract surgery will not cause long-term damage to my eye or make the surgery more difficult. I do not have to rush into surgery.

I've been given a prescription for distance.  My near vision is pretty good (20/30), but my distance is 20/40.  Glasses will help bring that to 20/30.

The doctor said she doesn't know how long I've had these, but surmises that I've had them for about a year, but she has no other data on me for comparison.  Some of her patients experience little to no change over time, while others show a greater progression.  This is something to monitor, she said.

I asked what causes these other than age, she said that there are many variables (one being stress). [Gee I haven't had any reason for that.].  But added that my taking Tamoxifen for just over the last week had no affect.  In addition, if there was any long term affect, it would not be cataracts.

She said it possible that I've had this problem (in my right eye), but didn't notice until I was asked to be cognizant of vision changes (as a result of Tamoxifen).  The body does compensate, in this case by relying on the better eye.  I may have been unaware of my impaired vision in my right eye.

Things could always be worse.  So I'll get eye glasses for distance (driving mostly) and monitor my vision in between becoming an "I eats my spinach", Popeye.

More to come.