I'm ready for my close up, Mr Demille

Had my post tattoo follow up with Dr. Chatson today.  My tattoo was inked mid February, so he wanted me to come in, 'in a few months' to see how the finished product came out.  It's amazing what multiple plastic surgeries can do and a tattoo.  Other than some scars (that will fade with time), everything looks great.

He seemed please with the results also.  He rushed to get his camera.  Dr. Chatson had been taking pictures of the before, during and after phases of my reconstruction.  I'll be in his 'book' he shows to perspective patients. Of course there is no face shot, just that of 'the work'.

After he took a few shots some head on, some angled, he shook my hand and said it was a pleasure getting to know me.  He wished me luck and said there was no need to see him again unless there is a change that concerns me.

It's been almost two years since my first surgery (mastectomy).  It's been quite the journey, but time has sped by.  I can now close the chapter on my reconstruction.

Other medical updates:

After two weeks of a hellish recovery from my Triple A procedure, I have begun to return to some form of normalcy in week three.  My energy level has been tough to maintain, but I have been able to walk (almost daily) for about 3 miles.  Some days I make it past 4 miles.

Some of my side effects seem to have abated. 

• My back pain and flank pain has improved greatly although it's still there.  I believe being mobile helps lessen this.  
• I am beginning to return to normal sleep patterns.  I'm now sleeping about 7-8 hours a night versus the 15 I had experienced during the first two weeks.
• Still unexplained, my neuropathy in my thumb and finger flared up but is now calming down.  So strange.  I did pick up my guitar last Saturday for the first time.  A little rusty, but I've been playing more often.  I need to get back to playing piano and singing.  
• I've notice my voice is very tight (and out of shape).  The hoarseness I had seems to have abated, so I think it's time to start vocal exercises.
• I haven't resumed my daily in-house exercises yet although I should be doing that too.

I have a CT scan and a follow-up visit with Dr. Schanzer on May 1st. An update on this will be forthcoming.

More to come!

Two week follow-up

Trekked into UMass Medical, Worcester with my sister, who on this National Siblings Day was kind enough to drive me (again).  I had been restricted from diving since the procedure and although I could have driven myself, it would be just my rotten luck that something would happen when I wasn't supposed to be operating. Thanks, Les!

The weather was wonderful.  We wanted the windows open, but the wind made it difficult to converse. So we resorted to cracking the window when it got a bit stuffy.  I told her it was reminiscent of my daily hot flashes (from Tamoxifen).  Nice ride, great company and good conversation.

We didn't get lost this time, nor depended on the GPS to lead us to a road closure. We got the 'perfect' parking spot and made it right when I had planned to be there.  Prior to boarding the elevator to the 3rd floor we each visited our respective restrooms. [Insert inappropriate Bathroom Bill humor here.] I was truly surprised for a healthcare facility, the there were no paper towels or hot air hand dryers. Don't you just hate it when you follow all the directions and wash thoroughly with lots of soap and water and then find yourself going from dispenser to dispenser in search of that towel.  And it wasn't even April Fools Day. Pant legs took the excess moisture.

Arriving on the third floor, it wasn't long before an attendant took my information and copay when she gave me a clipboard for my SAT's and asked me to sit.  I had only completed the first two sheets before a nurse called my name and directed me into the inner sanctum. Traversing myriad hallways, I landed in an examination room and had my vitals taken.  The nurse helped me with the SAT paperwork and asked that I strip down below my waist and place a johnnie over my lap.

Shortly after Shauneen Valliere, NP entered, announced herself and extended her hand.  I was glad mine was dry. She asked how I was doing and I told her my difficulties with the recovery process.  She indicated that much of my trouble was a result of all the meds, anesthesia, and antibiotics I was given over a short time.  She said, "Although outwardly. it looks like not much has happened, inside that's not the case.  The body needs time to adjust and get back on schedule."

I discussed some of the side effects that have persisted and she seemed a bit perplexed with the pain that I had been having in my back and flank.  She said, "We don't have the most comfortable beds and you're spending so much time (lately) on your back, the pain could be from those.  Other patients had reported that side effects of the statin cause pain the large muscles (like the leg and thigh), but your pain could be something else."  As Dr Schanzer said, and she echoed, "Give it some time.'

Shauneen then looked at the surgical sight and mentioned the bruising.  It had been worse.  She then said she was going to press and to let her know if there was any pain.  She pressed harder and harder as if she was hoping there would be pain, but there was none. She seemed pleased.  She told me that I would be contacted to schedule a 3D ultrasound and CT scan to ensure that 'things landed where they were supposed to', and to check for endo-leaks.  She said early detection was critical.  After a few months, I would need another ultrasound, then yearly monitoring- for the rest of my life. [This was no surprise to me.]

I was given the green light to drive again, encouraged to resume my walking regimen (I had walked more than 6 miles over the last three days).  I asked about resumption of my exercising and she said, "Start slow."  At that, she wished me good luck and said, "You need no paperwork so you are free to go."

I met Leslie and we were on our merry way.  Arriving home I 'drove' to the grocery market and shopped and upon returning took a 4 mile walk in the summer-like weather.

So finally, I'm seeing the improvement that had eluded me.

More to come.

Week One of recuperation

Believe it or not, it's April.  Thank you Mother Nature for providing a not so funny April Fool's day storm.  Luckily for me, I didn't (and couldn't) be part of the clean-up, but true friends were there for me to dig me out and rake the roof.  Greatly appreciated!

We had a glimpse of Spring on Opening Day although I was not able to participate except enviously enjoying the sun and warmth through my windows.  This was short lived and we are back in the cold wet rainy pattern.  Can it be long before we are complaining about the heat and humidity?

This latest battle for health has been my toughest yet.  I thought round 4 of chemo was bad, but that was a walk in the park compared to my last week in hell.  Kicking off with extreme tiredness; no appetite; no sense of taste; constipation; general discomfort and malaise I gradually regained some sense of taste and was able to have some sustenance.  An angel of mercy dropped off some protein drinks, Pro-biotic Yogurt and other easy to eat munchies.  Initially all I wanted to (and could only) do was sleep.  When I was tired of sleeping, I slept some more.  I had zero energy.  Each time I stood up I could see my vision dissolve to black, then recover.  This was a side effect of my hypertension meds, but exacerbated by my lack of energy and body fuel (food).  Oddly enough, there was only minor discomfort at the surgical sites, but my back and flank could find no happy spot that would relive the pain.  I was fearful to take OxyContin because of those side effects (constipation) so Tylenol was substituted and it seemed to help - somewhat.  I did resort to MiraLax and after day four I had my first (very small) movement.  I've had subsequent voids, but each produced low output.  Granted I wasn't eating much.

As the days progressed, my improvements failed to be realized.  However my appetite was improving and I expanded my diet to oatmeal, roll-up sandwiches, cheese snacks (I know it's binding.) By the weekend I had cravings for foods and gravitated toward those, whether they were healthy choices or not.  I had already lost seven pounds so eating a candy bar was probably OK.  By the weekend I was craving pizza.  Another not so health choice, but it was hot and gooey and I was craving it. I really did nothing other than sleep, munch, watch some TV and surf the net.

I've been really concerned with the new meds prescribed.  My biggest concern was Atorvastatin.  It's generally given to treat high cholesterol, but fortunately for me my 'numbers' have been traditionally desirable without medication, so having to take this drug equates to a slap in the face.  I did discuss this with my doctor and agreed to 'try it for awhile'.  The paperwork I received from the pharmacy did say that it prevents heart attacks and strokes.  But there must be other drugs that do this without the side effects.

Side effects are different for each person, but for me they are as follows:

• Burping/gas - This is the only drug I take at 9PM.  I'm not sure if I'm in a horizontal position while it 'does its thing', but I feel discomfort from gas.  There's quite a bit of flatus while in bed or when standing from bed.  Although most has been gas, I have experienced burping to some extent.
• Sniffles/runny nose - A nuisance side effect.  Thank heavens for pocket Kleenex packets
• Unusual tiredness - This is a tough one to call, but as time goes on and I get more and more sustenance, one would think I'd have more energy.  For the most part this is true, but I'm still sleeping 12-15 hours a day (Including a two hour nap).
• Boring pain in the back and flank - this is the most worrisome side effect.  I'm prevented from finding comfort when sitting and can stand no longer than 15 minutes before having to sit and rest.  Prior to the procedure I had these pains, but to a much lesser degree.  Tylenol helps somewhat, but I hate throwing medicine at a pain caused by medicine.  This discomfort has cased my entire spine to feel 'stiff' and achy.  I'm hopeful that some other type of med can be used since this is the most debilitating.
• Headache - A nuisance side effect.  Sometimes dissipates when I take Tylenol.
• Constipation - I just can't seem to escape this one. 

I've read and re-read my discharge papers.  And there is nothing in the list that applies to me (or is happening)  requiring my notifying the physician.  There was one item - temperature exceeding 101 degrees, but my temperature has been pretty constant.

Other than those listed above, my next biggest challenge was state of mind.  Having gone through many health battles, keeping positive and finding inner strength has been nearly impossible.

I’m not certain how or why, but something happened as a result of my procedure last month.  I’m not the same person.  Or maybe, I’ve come to realize the person who I have become since my numerous health issues.  One could argue that I’m still in recovery and these thoughts and feelings may pass or resolve somehow, but I don’t think they can.  This has brought me to a great pause and self assessment.  I tried to turn these dark feelings into lyrics and was frightened by what came out of me.  I've found that I've come to the door of deep depression and had turned the handle.  I did not pass.  This is probably because I've had so much support from family and friends.  I will get through this, but I will be different on the other side.  After much deep deliberation, I have decided to retire from the performance aspect of music.**  I resigned my position in Fitch's Brew and will assist in a transition.  Not knowing what I still can do musically since the worsening of my neuropathy, I'm trending to downsizing and having fewer long term commitments.

More to come.

[Post Script:    **Clarification - I had many find my statements rash and alarming.  Some personally reached out to me.  After my explaining the background and reasoning, each had a better idea as to what I meant and were supportive.

Simply put, I will no longer pursue any musical activity that would require a significant physical commitment.   I can no longer fulfill the roadie/musician role.  I'm no longer 25 and the personal physical toll of a load in, set up, performance, breakdown and load out are no longer viable.  I can/will pursue situations where there is a minimal amount of physical exertion. I apologize for needlessly alarming my family friends and  readers.]